Introduction:

The Washington State Fair in Puyallup always brings joy to my heart, offering wacky food, intense rides and no shortage of fun. From deep-fried bacon to Ferris wheels and dart games, all can find their calling. So, in the spirit of the season, take a gander into my favorite foods, games and rides for this spring’s fair, all of which will be present when the experience returns in the summer from Aug. 29 to Sept. 21 (closed Tuesdays and Sept. 3). 

Games:

Hammer Smash: 8/10

Of all the games at the fair, the hammer smash stands out the most. I could sense the passion in the way the contestants before me swung the hammer. In this wonderful experience, you get two chances to take a hammer and smash it into a target about the size of a dinner plate, and an automated system will rank your strength out of 500. Given that this game is strength-based, and takes a great deal of muscle mass that some lack, this is the perfect game to play to make your friends the butt of the joke. And what high schoolers don’t love making fun of each other?

Ski Ball: 6.5/10

Given my extreme lack of coordination, ski ball, while a classic, proved a challenge. So much so that I managed to throw a ball over the netting and nearly had my round ended prematurely. Everything about the essence of ski ball game captures the spirit of the fair, and maybe it helps that I won a stuffed hedgehog as well.

Pop-A-Shot: 4/10

When encountering this tomfoolery, I implore you to read the sign that very blatantly states “RIMS ARE NOT REGULATION.” Do heed this notice, as it will save you from much embarrassment. As a basketball player, my poor performance in this game dampened my mood and nearly ruined my day. This game earns the number three spot simply because there are many worse options out there, and they don’t deserve recognition.

Food:

Scone: 10/10

Fisher’s classic fair scone is always a delight to consume. Soft, buttery and jam-packed with a fruity punch, it is a must-eat at the fair this year. This culinary masterpiece provides plenty of energy for a day full of fun and sends your stomach to paradise. While carbs won’t keep you going all day, this is a great place to start.

Elephant Ear: 9/10

There are two options for the classic elephant ear at this year’s fair; cinnamon sugar and jam-filled. I implore your taste buds to try both options, and while it pales in comparison to the scone, (a little more sweetness would have helped, and the messiness was distracting) it is still a must-have. The cinnamon sugar version is certainly superior, but be warned; despite being the tastier option between the two, the cinnamon sugar variety will destroy your clothes. The sugar will get everywhere and you may end up regretting it a little bit. The crispiness was a little much, but overall I would recommend treating your taste buds to an elephant ear this year. 

Corn Dog: 7/10

One simply cannot go wrong with a beer-battered corn dog on a summer afternoon. (Unfortunately, the fair lacks many vegetarian options). The crust had a smooth, airy consistency and the inside was perfectly cooked. All in all, a wonderful fair experience, but not quite on the level of the beloved aforementioned treats.

Rides:

Kamikaze: 10/10

The Kamikaze, a diabolical excuse for a ride, will leave your soul shaking. When you board, I urge you to take a moment and rethink your life choices. You will be upside down in many unfriendly positions, and you may or may not expel your lunch onto whichever poor soul decides to sit next to you. It shakes back and forth violently over and over again, and given that you are just barely restrained, it truly is an exhilarating experience. Just waiting in line will terrify you. With the way this abomination swings back and forth, it looks as if it will cascade upon your cranium every ten seconds. This ride is an adrenaline junkie’s paradise, and I plead with you to stay off this ride unless you are an experienced thrill-seeker. So, in the spirit of student journalism, I’m offering my professional opinion, and this is an easy 10. 

Classic Coaster: 8.5/10

At first glance, the Classic Coaster is rather disappointing. The ride moves in a creaky, grumpy fashion, similar to my dad when he doesn’t get his morning coffee. It is an entirely wooden structure, and your ears are filled with pings and cracks the whole time. The fact that this structure is made of wood almost makes it seem more unsafe than modern coasters, call me crazy all you want, but this just made me want to go on it more. It’s quite jerky and involves a lot of side-to-side motions, which can be unpleasant, but in this case it wasn’t, as it added excitement to the ride instead of just throwing you around. The first drop is quite jarring, and I could’ve sworn my lunch was about to eject itself. I encountered a great deal of elevation building, which then cascaded downwards, accompanied by my lurching insides. This is a key component of any good coaster. All in all, a wonderful ride.