The reasons and lead up to getting rid of TOLO

For several years University Prep has included three Upper School dances per year; homecoming, TOLO and prom. This year one was added (snowcoming), and now one is being replaced.

Taking TOLO’s place is another informal dance currently called “Spring Fling.” The process of changing the dance schedule has been in motion since last year.“When the executives got together after they were elected last spring, it was something they decided fairly quickly,” Assistant Director of Upper School Sarah Peterson said. As far as logistics goes, the dance is pretty similar to TOLO. It’ll most likely be an off-campus, informal dance in March.

However, amongst students, TOLO was thought of as UPrep’s Sadie Hawkins dance, a dance where traditionally girls ask guys, and this was one driving force behind the change.

“There was a lot of frustration behind the heteronormative roots of TOLO (as in, having a designated dance where girls ask guys and excluding other types of relationships)” ASB Vice President Hannah Klein said. Despite this,  getting rid of TOLO was still met with some pushback.

“The topic was fairly controversial, and in the end, the majority voted against changing the name last year, mainly because we couldn’t figure out what to name it instead,”  Klein said. This year, however, Peterson decided the name needed to be changed. The change is another step in the direction ASB wants to take when it comes to the “ask culture” and consent education.

“There has been a push from the ASB, and also faculty, to try to be more thoughtful about how the dance asking culture we have at UPrep is not necessarily respectful to the type of consent we’re trying to teach students,” Peterson said.

Along with promoting a more “anybody ask anybody” culture, ASB and the administration hope to stress to students that it’s okay to say no to a dance/date offer, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to ask anybody if you don’t want to.

The goal is to help cultivate a more inclusive and comfortable community. “[I’m] glad to see ASB’s effort in promoting a more free culture,” junior Zubin Abraham-Ahmed said. “People should not feel pressured to do something they do not want to, especially when it comes to [dances].”

Changing TOLO’s name signifies an end to feeling obligated to ask someone or say yes to an offer, and that is exactly the message ASB is trying to send.

“Changing the name will hopefully relieve students of the pressures surrounding dances because they’re just supposed to be an opportunity for people in our community to gather and have fun. They shouldn’t be about adhering to any social code” Klein said.

By Micho Matuszewski